I'll admit it. Lately I haven't exactly been the best at giving the big things in my life to God and letting them go. I know that I need to give them to Him. I do know. In the past it had never really been an issue. In high school, even when I was first learning to be a Christian, I had no problem giving my problems to God. I know they are far better in His hands than in mine.
Lately though, I've just had so much going on, especially with my sister's divorce & custody trial mess, and it's sooo important to me, that I guess I've been afraid to let go of them. I've been holding on to these things so tightly that I'm surprised that I didn't squeeze all of the blood out of my fingers.
Now that's not the only thing that I've been holding onto, but it is the biggest. I still did all the other things you are supposed to do when something comes up. I took it to prayer, and asked others to pray about it. I sent out a mass text to all of my Christian friends last night asking for they're prayers and thoughts.
Today, though, my faith was really shaken because things didn't turn out well at all. I won't get into the specifics, but the main issue is that my sister is going to be forced to sell her house to pay half of the equity to her ex. It really hit me hard. I had a good feeling going into it, and it was completely shattered this afternoon.
Tonight, I'll admit, I was a bit of a wreck. I was completely--physically and emotionally-exhausted from a full day in court. I cried. I thought tons of thoughts about her low-life ex that probably weren't very Christian of me. On my way home from my boyfriend's house though, I turned on the radio, and Air1 was playing Praise You in this Storm by Casting Crowns (find lyrics here) and I realized two things:
1)I need to give God the glory in all situations and not blame Him for the outcome of the trial
2)God hears all prayers, and even though He doesn't always answer them in the way that I expect or want him to (or in my timeframe) doesn't mean he won't answer them. God's plan for the situation is far better than mine could ever be.
In addition, it was really a wake-up call for me to step up and really work on letting go of my problems and giving them to God because they are holding back my walk with Him.